Wanting Your Chalupa, And Eating it Too

Sometimes getting what you want requires sacrifice... Or in this case, a little bit of money.

I love Taco Bell.

Throughout my 20’s, and through my time of working in the sports industry, Taco Bell was one of the more affordable ways for me to *ahem* nourish myself after long days at the office.

In season, there were days I would go into stadium/arena/ballpark between 7 and 8 AM, and sometimes not return home until close to midnight. Even after the hardest days, the rainiest games, the snowiest nights - Taco Bell’s purple bell glowed for me on my drive home like the glow of the lighthouse guiding a weary sailor home.

I Hate Working Out.

Through those years, I often used the excuse of being too ‘busy’ with work - or not ‘having the time’ to make it to the gym because of my at-times hectic work schedule.

This was an internal lie I used when talking to others, to help excuse myself for what the crux of the issue truly was - I absolutely despised the concept of working out.

This wasn’t a new thing for me - this was decades of organized sports and teenage metabolism protecting me from the actual need to work out, as well as the seemingly far off cliff that is aging.

The 18-25 year old version of myself that consumed Taco Bell multiple times a week…

Editor’s Note: Which financially likely totaled a higher percentage of my net worth than John Stanton has spent on free agency

…was heading for the rude awakening that I could no longer continue down this path and expect positive results.

Eventually, I was forced to make a choice. There was no longer the benefit of wanting my cake chalupas and eating them too. I could either give up the nostalgia of the purple bell from the gods, or learn a balance of portion control, while also promising to tackle one of my most hated concepts - working out.

I changed for the better, because I had to. I am better off today for it.

The Mariners Love Trading and Cost Control

Through the *step back* years, the front office and ownership group did everything they could to maximize their returns on depreciating assets.

This was seen in such forms as:

• Departing with Robinson Cano’s contract (which was a fine contract and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise)

• Skipping out free agency, in some years altogether, with the promise of re-allocating funds (they didn’t)

• Shrewd under the radar pick-ups (Shout-out Chris Flexen)

• Not-so-quiet Tanking to gain better draft position

This was fine! Whether you feel ownership gave the 2016-17 teams a true chance to actually compete (spoiler: they did not), it was clear that the then current version of the Mariners were maxed out on perceived payroll, and just not good enough to get over the hump without a legitimate additional add or two that the organization was not willing to pay for.

I was fine with the understanding that a few lean down years could inevitably bring us out clean on the other side - after all, this was what was promised by ownership.

Similarly to my Taco Bell habits, this was going to be fine for a certain period of time. But eventually, the Mariners wallets were going to have to hit the gym, or face the chalupa fueled shameful consequences.

The Mariners Hate Spending in Free Agency.

Lets get a few things out of the way:

• It was good that they extended Julio.

• It was good that they extended Luis Castillo.

• And yes, the Mariners did in fact spend $115m on Robbie Ray in 2021!

A signing the organization liked so much, in fact, that they viewed his injury as such a negative asset to their current ball club, that they chose to re-allocate his funds to two years of Mitch Haniger, one ‘year’ of Luis Urías and one year of Jorge Polanco, all while touting the 2026 dollars they saved for their beloved CREST.

The org continues to harp on its concept of sustainable winning via Draft, Develop and Trade as the true reasoning for it - but the glaringly obvious fact has much more to do with a self-imposed budget from a non-liquid billionaire, which is bowed down to from an incredibly risk adverse front office that is incapable of taking chances due to fear paralysis that comes with their names being tied to a long term bad investment for their owners.

Objectively, the Mariners ownership hates spending on anything without an ROI, and their front office is afraid to push for said purchases, most likely at the cost of their jobs.

This was a more viable solution for competition in the old playoff model, as there were far fewer organizations with the belief that a run could be made, and thus, a larger pool of clubs who were willing to sell real assets in order to reload for future seasons - but this is just not the world of baseball that exists anymore.

Given the recent updates from Daniel Kramer via his newsletter today, the Mariners finally find themselves at the corner of Taco Bell, and Planet Fitness.

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The Mariners need 2.5 bats (it’s more than that but that’s another topic) for their 2025 infield alone, and have essentially removed themselves from serious solutions at the top of the free agent market. They have echoed their interest in a certain 33 year old first baseman, but to do so, would likely require shedding salary, specifically the salary of one of their recently extended acquisitions.

Their primary targets through their traditional methods of trading, are seemingly either not available, not available for prospects or specifically, not for prospects the Mariners are willing to part with.

There are other avenues potentially available to them in the form of one Rōki Sasaki, but your chances are likely on par with Taco Bell bringing back the Quesalupa as a full time menu option (do it you cowards).

The market has spoken for the Mariners - if you want improvement on offense, buy it, or break up the rotation - and given the self-imposed budget, neither option is very appealing.

Eventually, the Mariners will be forced to make a choice. There is no longer the benefit of wanting sustainable winning without spending on it too. The Mariners can either give up the nostalgia of having one of, if not the best rotations in franchise history, or learn a balance of portion control with their D.D.T process, while also promising to tackle one of their most hated concepts - spending.

I changed for the better, because I had to.

I wish I felt the Mariners will do the same.